I’m Trying To Understand..

By Leah Watkins

I’m trying my best to understand the phenomenon of Southern Baptist culture and the devotion to a building and a made up social club. I’m trying to understand why leaving a church stirs up this uncomfortable feeling in them. I’ve been tempted to ask them myself. “Why are you afraid of other churches?? Does people leaving make you guilty? I NEED TO KNOW!”

I work at a coffee shop in my hometown. Which means I see people, lots of people… in my hometown that I know.. from my old church. At first it was ok. I gave some hugs, I smiled, and I even kept up conversations. But then I saw the ones who are still weird that we left. The ones who don’t want to acknowledge me, but have to because I take their orders. The ones that wouldn’t say anything if I didn’t say something first.

For me, it’s always the quick glance to the floor that gets me. Maybe it’s embarrassment? I mean it’s been THREE years, who knows? But what I do know is that Southern Baptist culture runs deeps. It’s like vines that take over a garden. An all consuming attitude that states: “Our church is the best church! Anywhere else is out of favor!”

Church trauma doesn’t linger because we’re sad. It lingers because the people around us failed to accept responsibility. It lingers because when we become outsiders, we are treated like individuals who are not wanted in society (yes that is a metaphor for our current world state).

Leaving a church should be treated as a bold move. Prayers should be given, phone numbers should be called, support should be provided. I believe there are churches who do the right thing. To that I say, KEEP GOING. Don’t let anyone dim that light. Your church building does not give you a pass to heaven.

I encourage anyone who’s dealing with this to continue to be a light. I will admit that’s it hard for me. My anger is very strong, but I know that my duty to Christ is stronger. I will admit I fail a lot, even today, but I keep going. Because those people are still deeply loved by God. Therefore I need to emulate so they know His love exists.

Tell me what you think! Is this relevant to you? What do you do in these circumstances?

Kyrie Eleison my friends. May God be with you in all ways!

LR Watkins