Let Them Be Content!

Me at my coffee shop job!

I’ve noticed something. People don’t like contentment.

Well let me clarify, people don’t like when other people have contentment. It’s an interesting concept that I’ve noticed more after having multiple life changing events back to back. The amount of time someone has asked how I made a certain decision, and then find a way to become offend by it, has truly surprised me. Especially, after I tell them that I’m content with my decisions, both present and past. It’s almost as if my decision is actively going to change their life, and they’re disappointed in me for letting them down somehow.

Here’s an example:

I recently had someone ask Jason and I how we were doing. We updated them and Jason made a comment about needing to take time to disconnect and regroup after moving back home. He wanted to figure our life and process everything we went through. The response of the person was “Well what did you figure out?” In a backhanded and condescending tone. When it came time for me to talk about my life, I was met with the same emotion. I mentioned that I really enjoyed being at the coffee shop I’m at because we know the owners, and they consistently pray over me. “That’s… good.” Was all I got as a response.

Ouch.

It’s there’s one thing you need to know about me, it’s that I HATE feeling like I’m being questioned. Especially when I’m confident in my answer and I’ve prayed over it for a significant about of time. I don’t like when people think I’m incapable of something. I’ve spent many therapy sessions ranting about this and it’s still is a common cause for fights with Jason (shoutout to his repetition of “Why would I think you’re stupid!?”). It’s crazy how in a sea of love, a small drop of negativity can throw off your balance and almost cause you to drown. Their responses were like daggers to my skin. In that moment I felt like I had to justify everything. “My parents are so happy too! And our mental health is so much better. I’m so thankful for everything!” But, it didn’t matter, I was still met with a judgmental silence. Has this ever happened to you?

I sat with those responses for a while, pondering on what I said to make them so frustrated. I was clear in my answer, I was positive and sounded very content, and we said this is where God wanted us to be…. Wait was that it? I’ve noticed that when I show contentment in the plans God gave me it sets a lot of people off. Because why would God want us working full time, living in a one bedroom, with a bunch of debt from a crazy move? Which, ok, valid. I question it too. But this is what God has for us, and His plan is ultimate so we chose to follow it. That was our choice. We have free will, and whenever I’ve used it wrongly I’m always left with a sense of darkness. My soul feels like a void, and is in a constant state of restlessness.

Contentment is the most sought out emotion, yet it is the hardest to find. It makes others loose their minds and question everything they ever did, and then project those frustrations onto you. Contentment is a gift. I would be lying if I said I obtain it easily, because we all have moments where we are unsettled and want more. But what disappoints me is making others question their contentment. Even outside of a religious context, projecting your unsolved emotions in order to make another person match the inadequacy you feel, is a deep offense. I’ve always wondered what they expect from their actions. Because in that moment, I never what to confide in that person again. My trust in them is tainted.

Happiness is subjective, but joy can be had within any circumstance. It’s easy to misinterpret joy and lump into an emotion that can only happen when life is good. We are not competing for the best life, we are not in a competition to see how better we can handle the rocks that are thrown at us. This might sound harsh, but if hearing about others people’s contentment or happiness makes your feel a sense of anger, then don’t ask to hear about it. What makes me laugh is the people begging to know what’s going on are the one’s that will make you feel the most pain. Now I’m not saying this to ignore the sadness people may feel about their current state of life. We all have things that we want to accomplish, and we all have moments where we feel stuck. But putting those emotions on others will never justify how you feel. All it will give you is a temporary, and false sense of security.

On the other hand, when you encountered those reactions, try your best to stay confident. God never said your path would be easy and there are countless stories in the Bible where people were called crazy for believing in the Lord’s Will. To be fair, yes, his plans can looked different, and maybe a little bit crazy. But as believers we must know that the God of the universe is over all things, and that the criticism of others should be ignored. Forgive those who trespass against you, and pray for them. Because God still loves them, even in their wrongdoings.

Well that’s all I got folks, I’ll see you next time!

ANNOUNCEMENTS: I am going to start posting short stories under the Abstract Divine! I haven’t wrote under this publication in a while, and have been wondering what to do with it. I switched to using my name to make it easier to get my work out there. It’s the name to my Substack, and what I started publishing under so I’m excited to be using it again. At heart I am a fictional story writer, and I can’t denying it haha! So be on the lookout!

Ok for real that’s all I got, until next time!

Kyrie Eleison— Lord have mercy upon us.

Agnus Dei— Lamb of God that takes away the sins of the world… Grant us thy peace.