Take the Long Way Home

You really should listen to the song after reading this

I have had my second surgery in my marriage, and just like the first one, it has taught me so much about the person you choose to marry. There’s a song by the 70s band Supertramp called Take The Long Way Home. While that song talks about the Journey to self-discovery, I couldn’t help but sing it when Jason took me on a ride through the mountains this afternoon. He took a longer route so he could avoid the speed bumps and twists in the road. If he did encounter them, he slowed the car down so he wouldn’t disturb my incisions. By adding just a few minutes to our trip, he helped me to unpack another mystery that lies within the layers of marriage.

What does it mean to take the longer way for your spouse? Both literally and figuratively? It might look like going to a second store when the first is out of stock of what they need. Or placing the pillow just right before they lie down. Sometimes it’s subconscious, and sometimes it could be a spur-of-the-moment decision while sitting in traffic. However it happens, I think it’s an important phenomenon that is unique to every couple. It’s a sleeper component that can easily become swept under the rug if you’re not careful.

To me, I find it the most fitting way to consistently show Christ and total submission in your marriage. To fully give up your personal wants to please your spouse is the ultimate goal. Jason is a very efficient person when it comes to travel. The quickest route is the best for him. But today, for me, the longer route was better, and I could have a relaxing time with him. People forget that you have to exude Christ to your spouse, too. That’s why marriage can be so frustrating. All of this can seem obvious, but I have been guilty of leaving Jason behind due to my selfishness. Complacency doesn’t disappear after I do; it actually tempts you even more. “I’m never going to do that when I get married.” Yes, you will, and it’s ok. Thank God there is beauty in grace and forgiveness. Forgiveness from the person you made a covenant with will never get old and will always add a layer of renewal to your relationship.

Have you ever heard the phrase “when we first started dating, they used to do this” from someone who’s been in a long-term relationship? Usually, it’s said in the form of a sarcastic joke, but I always find there is something truthful in the mix. I observe couples a lot, and I love the ones that have their own languages. It could be in phrases, touch, or actions, but it’s always deeply personal. I love it when people tilt their heads when Jason and I do something. Yes, he surprised me with two for one pickles from the store, and I surprised him with one of those tin cans full of cookies. Yes, I will wave to him from across the room, or when I’m next to him. That’s our thing. A couple at church does something called a heart check, where they make a heart with their hands to make sure their ok. That’s adorable, people!

So, maybe taking the long way is just showing up for your spouse each day. Maybe it’s putting aside old habits to better suit your marital needs. Or maybe it’s driving just a little bit longer so your spouse can have a nice time out. Whatever it is, I pray you find it or have it in your life. I also pray that you, too, will find two-for-one pickles at the store. That’s a good deal, and it was at Publix of all places! Also listen to the song after reading, Supertramp is one of those weird bands that grows on you after a while.

Until next time, friends!

Kyrie Eleison- Lord, have mercy upon us

Agnus Dei- Lamb of God that takes away the sins of the world, grant us thy peace.